I see multiple replies along similar lines, attacking a poster for an experience with a single person making them cautious of a particular group.

These replies seem to forget that a single person can destroy your career, livelihood and relationships because they have misunderstood an interaction

It's agree that it was just one experience and my reaction may be too extreme, but I'm not claiming this is everyone. My only claim is that for me, it was such an uncomfortable situation that I'm willing to do a lot to avoid it happening again.

And this was >5 years ago, and I think the likelihood of this happening has only gone up in that time.

> And you're saying that it wasn't made a big deal, that it was just pointed out to you?

Yes, but I suppose my point here is that even that was enough for me to be cautious going forward

I think your reaction is a normal response given what happened to you.

For the record, it was not a normal reaction in any reasonable way that you could use to classify reactions to feedback.

Judging from the feedback it was certainly is a normal reaction even if you don't believe it's the right reaction.

I never said I refused to work with any gender. I've successful worked with plenty of men & women since this experience without issue and it's not something I'm that particularly concerned about doing in the future.

My claim is just that this experience changed how I interact with women in the workplace compared to men. So to me, the point of the article, that men are "clamming up", holds true for me even with this minor situation compared to a much larger public situation.

I've had it on the list to get a professional therapist for years, one day I'll finally actually do the work to set it up :)

I think it's very strange you view an accusation of sexism as "feedback that you perceived to be incorrect".

The GP is saying that is coloured how he interacts with women. I interpreted it as being in the context of work. That is not the same as refusing to work with an entire gender.

that's akin to saying, "so just because a gun misfired and almost blew your head off, you're just always going to be afraid of guns?"

in this case the gun being your career shattered by idiotic accusations of sexism in the form of calling out bad CSS. being called a sexist is almost like being called a racist. the accusation is enough for people to believe it to be true. so yes, a normal human being will instead be extremely wary, and rather than trying to shoot more guns in the future, will instead shy away from that experience entirely.

you seem to be posting in this thread everywhere that every man should just be a hero and after a close call with having their career derailed, they should continue on and ignore the past. realistically, this will never happen given the state of how society deals with these issues.

it's also a very privileged POV to have because if you're a father with a family/kids etc, the last thing you're likely to do is stick out like a sore thumb and continue doing the thing that almost made you lose your job and reputation in the industry.

I think you're reading much too far into this situation. At no point did he say anything resembling "refusing to engage with coworkers of a different gender".

Why do you say it's one experience? I don't want to sound like an MRA because I'm not but we have seen the situation of women destroying the reputations of men play out a lot. Many of the times they were warranted but there have also been many innocent men caught in the cross fire.

Men and people in general do not have a duty to take risk for the benefit of others. Women expecting men to risk their own reputation to help them is naive and stupid. There are benefits and drawbacks to everything and women not receiving any personal guidance from men is one of the main drawbacks from our new "woke" culture.

Also, personally, I don't give advice or criticism to anyone. Man or woman. I don't see how it ever benefits me to do so.