We simply switch to string lights and "bedtime bulb" in the evenings, no dimming or internet needed.

(Although, I did install a dimmer into the dining room wall switch, but it's worth it I think if you'll be there at least a year.)

I would totally be down for that, but I don't have access to the breaker box, and I don't feel like trying to install anything into anything that has hot wires.

That’s smart policy.

In the US (or at least the majority of jurisdictions who have adopted it), NEC Section 240.24(B) requires "each occupant shall have ready access to all overcurrent devices protecting the conductors supplying that occupancy unless otherwise permitted in 240.24(B)(1)" (where that is roughly buildings with continuous on-site maintenance supervision can avoid this requirement).

Is that legal?

what do you do if you have a flooding? just hope you dont get electrocuted?

You should really insist on access...

No internet needed for my setup either, local network only.

They don't need to be internet-connected though, there's many "smart" LED bulbs that run off a traditional remote control.

I don't want to add a remote control to my life, the "smart" bulbs are better because I can control them with my phone, watch, and any other devices I might get in the future.

Not to mention, I have ~10 of these bulbs. Can't imagine how a remote control would deal with that. They also aren't connected to the internet, they are controlled by a hub that only has local network access.