You're extending the analogy beyond its usefulness.

In the case of subjective offense, it should be and usually is different.

If you're called a racial slur by someone who just started learning English and genuinely doesn't know the true meaning of the word, you should take less offense to it than if you were called the slur by someone with obvious malicious intent.

Intent and context matters both in terms of how the "accused" should be viewed as well as how the "victim" should feel.