Fear mongering? Now you go to the other extreme.

What is malware? Is that browser toolbar your aunt has on ther internet explorer Malware? Probably yes.

Is a "Cleaner" Program that does effectively nothing except Phone home Malware? Probably Yes.

Is a software that does similar things behind your back without your knowledge, but that has some useful parts to it Malware? Maybe Yes?

But is ALL proprietary software malware merely because I don’t get the source? I could get the Linux source but it wouldn’t do me any good because I don’t know how to compile it. The whole thing is a silly argument. I pay for some software precisely because it does what I want!

Probably not, but unless you fire up wireshark or reverse engineer precisely which bits on your disk a software touches, you cannot always tell which one does and which doesn't.