There is a difference between survival instinct (would I swim up, jump to avoid getting hit by a car or duck if something is thrown at me) with fear of death.

I don't fear death, I fear the process of dying, I wouldn't want it to be painful or slow, but not existing, that I do not fear.

Agreed, and we’ll said

Many religions are all about not fearing death as a goal. If your immediate reaction to hearing someone doesn't fear death is talk to a professional you have an interesting take on what professionals are for.

Those belief systems also tend to have things in store for the individual after death, though. Why should one fear death itself if it's actually the means to travel to a place where 72 virgins are waiting for them? Not disagreeing with your second sentence.

The "ego in heaven" stuff is in the washed down religion for mass appeal, the actual mystical practices, whether islam christian or hindu/buddhist are overcoming attachment to your identity on earth, to identify your 'self' with the infinite unfolding of the universe so you know that 'you' never die, you just stop looking out this window.

I'm attached to this window. This idea from religion has always bothered me.

Yes, the cosmos remains intact even as the ego dies. But it seems dismissive to say the ego is less precious and can be calmly dismissed because the eternal universe which gave rise to it persists intact. It gives me no comfort at all to know that the eternal fire will always burn, and everything that constituted my fleeting ego will always exist as well. My self-awareness will be gone forever. That is a real and impending loss, although i'll be blissfully oblivious to that loss soon enough.

Some people say they don’t fear death because they think it makes them sound brave.

So I don’t usually believe what people say about themselves on this topic. Unless they’re quite old or lived through cancer or some similar situation where they had to confront their mortality, I won’t assume they know how they truly feel about their death. It’s just an idea when expressed with words, and simply thinking about it may not evoke real emotions.

Ah yes, the mentality that anyone that doesn't fear what I fear must be mentally ill in some way.