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Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by shrimpx on Saturday January 16, 2021 @03:02PM (#25804991)
This may sound a bit cynical but it's honest: When everyone else is gratuitously praising engineering, it sort of creates an atmosphere that feels like engineering is being taken advantage of by these other people: managers, sales people, execs. It feels like these people think you're their cash cow, and also that they think you're kind of stupid, and gratuitous compliments are enough to keep the cash cow going. That may not be what goes on, but that's what it feels like.
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by amelius on Saturday January 16, 2021 @03:58PM (#25805452)
Next time you get such a compliment, maybe ask for a raise or a bonus? Then you know whether the compliment was real or not.
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by JJMcJ on Saturday January 16, 2021 @05:37PM (#25806195)
Hey, you get free string cheese, what more do you want?
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by mkoubaa on Saturday January 16, 2021 @09:09PM (#25807408)
We take those
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by stjohnswarts on Saturday January 16, 2021 @03:37PM (#25805276)
That sounds like a personal issue though. I generally know if I'm doing a good job or being a load, and I don't look to external support or denial of that. I prefer regular work reviews but I don't need to hear it all the time. People are people and quite varied, some will think you're doing a great job and never say a thing, others prefer to be "positive" and lay it on a bit thick. When I want an honest evaluation I just ask to please point out both the good and bad from my manager/peer.
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by perl4ever on Saturday January 16, 2021 @06:40PM (#25806615)
>I generally know if I'm doing a good job

Could you elaborate? I would agree that random praise from a manager is not an especially good way to evaluate how well one is doing. But to me, "doing a good job" inherently depends on things that aren't purely determined by introspection.

Here's a scenario for example: I do things for people, that are well received, my manager talks to other people, and it leads to people outside my department asking for special projects.

I create something, of which I'm reasonably proud, and it gets copious praise from the requestor. But it turns out, I learn through the grapevine, there are several people who I never came in contact with, who are the actual intended end users, who ultimately refuse to use it at all, because it doesn't fit into their workflow, because the manager who asked me to do it doesn't understand it.

Without external feedback, there's no way to tell what effect I'm having on the organization and the world. And I would think that every employee at any level has to deal with this.

Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by stjohnswarts on Sunday January 17, 2021 @07:12PM (#25816703)
There is always feedback. In general I judge my performance about how well I do compared to my coworkers in terms of output and what I know about my industry and what is "normal". I'm not the legendary 10x coder/engineer but I'm pretty good I think, in particular based on what I've done vs other people in terms of output and general reaction from peers (who i trust more on feedback than managers). I agree quite often "nice managers" will overdo it on praise, but there are other signs. You're not going to figure it out in a couple weeks, but I don't see how one can't get a general impression over a few months.
Re:Toxic positivity does more harm than good by rdiddly on Saturday January 16, 2021 @04:30PM (#25805684)
The word flattery might be useful here.