Love to. I’m a card-carrying member of the Over-sharers Club

The way I think and care about people has changed. I no longer care what people think about me. At the same time, I have a depth of compassion and empathy I couldn’t have had before.

I have no obligation to anyone. This lets me choose to care about someone without getting unnecessarily attracted. As a result, I can share my love and support freely without worrying about people taking advantage of me. I have no guilt showing people the door.

As a result of this, my motivations have changed. To use a metaphor, I see myself as a light in a dark world. My goal is to make everyone’s day a little better. I’m not some kind of savior, though I have saved lives. I’m just a “good person” trying to do “good things”.

My interests have changed in odd ways. I’d never have written erotica but sex is far more interesting to me now. This isn’t a result of me being repressed. I’ve always been asexual and been hypersexual since I was nine. But now I’m deeply exploring sexuality in my writing.

The last one is both odd and the most fundamental to my being. Just take it at face value.

I had a deep, spiritual connection with wolves from six years old until my break. That connection was a core part of me and without it, I wouldn’t have known who I was.

That connection is gone and I really don’t care about it. As far as I’m concerned, it was delusional thinking.

I no longer have the spirituality that was such a part of me. There is only the rational world now. (Side note: My faith in God had always been rational, not emotional or spiritual.)

If I had to guess, I think sexuality took the place of spiritually in my brain.

It’s quite possible I haven’t changed as much as I think, but the world inside my head is so vastly different, I can’t understand the person I was before.

Another note on masks. If you’ve always been known for your positive traits and your negative ones can be overlooked by people who like you, many people won’t notice if your positive traits get better and your negative ones become smoothed out.

If they do notice, they chalk it up to maturity.

Yes, this happens quite a bit as we can’t really see what’s going on inside other people’s minds. It is very interesting to say your sexuality took over spirituality in your case. How old were you when this happens? During puberty, adolescence and early adulthood we go trough transformations that are in a way not very well understood, in regard to sexuality I mean, think all the hormonal production going through the roof and stabilizing later on in life, but this is connected to mental health as well. Although I am not suffering of serious mental issues, just some anxiety and depression here and there for short periods of time, I remember first experiencing anxiety as an adolescent and didn’t know what it was then. It was mild though.

> How old were you when this happens?

I was 32 when this all happened.