I believe your argument is sensible, especially in society at large. What you lack is evidence that the kind of behavior you're describing happens on HN.
I don't know if it does or not but without evidence this is just conjecture from all sides.
If there's one thing I've learned in my time on HN it's that people here tend to be unaffected by subconscious bias, unlike normal people..
Re:GitHub Dark Mode is too Dark
by knighthack on Sunday December 13, 2020 @09:30PM
(#25412877)
You are reading even more into the gender of the post than OP, and are policing how OP should think, and assuming that he is biased because he is male.
Consider that you may yourself be sexist.
It is not that HN doesn't already have a "baseline obsession" with tone or that male authors never fall victim to this. But rather, one can observe a trend where such tone-policing comments are more likely to occur and get upvoted if the author is a woman. And on the flip-side, comments commending a harsher, "more" honest or rant-y tone are more likely to occur when the post was written by a male author.