I agree with you, seeing how even my spouse's 16h-drive-away mother is still managing to insert herself into her child's life several times a day. I can see on my wife's face she's been talking to her mother when I get home. Even with new recent boundaries set (we're not visiting anymore, no more answering the phone or WhatsApp 33 times a day and then when not answering right away having other family call to argue that you're abandoning your family, fuck all of them), and I feel my spouse has made tremendous strides there, the mum is still finding ways to do this.

Downright psychological abuse.