You're 100% right, that if I had better language skills I likely wouldn't have felt as isolated. I did try, and picked up some phrases, but intermittent trips rather than a contiguous multi-year stay made it more difficult.

That said, the difference between Japanese and Latin languages does play into the "foreign-ness" I mentioned. My very bad high school/college French is enough to feel comfortable deciphering a lot of Spanish and Italian, both written and spoken. Needless to say, that skill didn't transfer to Japan.

Again though, I love Japan because you truly feel as if you're in another culture. When I step off the plane in most countries, the first impression is sameness: same brands, same clothes, same affectations and language cadence. Flying to Japan truly feels like travel; I imagine it similar to going anywhere 100 years ago, before globalization (modulo British colonialism, of course).

It would be a heck of an adventure to commit to a few years' stay and really explore the country. I'd just want to do it with a partner to share the adventure with me.

I'm very happy you've had a great experience. I'm sure you will carry this with you regardless of where life's journey takes you.

Indeed, I seem to love Japan, haha. Thanks for the kind words!

For sure, do come over for a long term stay (with your partner!) and enjoy Japan. Like all countries, Japan has its own set of problems, but beyond that, it's a wonderful country. :)

I have had the same experience. To push down on this the Japanese feel shame in not being able to communicate to you if you do not speak Japanese. It makes them uncomfortable. Being able to manage some basic Japanese helps so much to build a warmer feeling in your interactions. It does not have to be perfect but you have to try. There is a bar I love that is known for not being friendly to non-Japanese. However that is not the case. They pride themselves on their level of service and they feel they cannot meet that level if they cannot communicate to you. If you go with someone that speaks Japanese you are fine but alone they will tell you they are booked (if you look non-Japanese). I have been there enough and my Japanese is good enough that that I can walk in no issues. Once I walked in with a group of foreigners and a new person rushed up and told me in broken English "all full". As soon as I asked for a member of staff I knew in Japanese the persons face dropped and he apologized and sat us. I spent the night translating for my party and everyone has a great time (and my Japanese is quite child like!) There is another place I frequent that has the same staff for the last 12 years! They smile when I walk in, even if it has been 1/2 a year! It's going to be almost a year now with this pandemic but I promise when I get back I will see the same faces and they will still know my favorite scotch.

Perhaps it's a bit reductive, but your story reads like "I went to a restaurant I like and they nearly refused service due to my ethnicity".

A similar thing has happened to me and it doesn't make me want to go back.

I understand it could be looked at that way. The point was that it was not because they do not like foreigners, but because they feel they cannot uphold their service standards if they cannot communicate. Maintaining the expected quality service and reputation for that excellence is the only thing that matters and not doing so would bring shame. It is a very uniquely Japanese view on things and I do not in this case see it as racist. The reality is that the Japanese think very differently then most western (EU/US) and it can be very hard for outsiders to understand or even relate.

(This is replying to both your comment and its parent comment.)

I sometimes run into that kind of behavior, especially when my first impression is my looks rather than my voice. But then I think of it like this: they probably have to deal with many foreign customers, "most" of whom cannot speak Japanese. Or they might not have been exposed to many foreigners that they know there are foreigners who can speak Japanese.

At the same time, Japanese society puts consideration for others at one of the higher priorities when interacting with people, and is seen everywhere and highly evaluated by many.

So it feels natural for the person to assume that I, as another one of those foreign people, most likely cannot speak Japanese. Also, they could try speaking to me in Japanese, but it'd be inconsiderate of them if I didn't know Japanese. So many a time the default, and very likely considerate route out is broken English to the best of their abilities.

I know this makes people like us who do know the language a bit bad, but then again, we're still a minority so I wouldn't read too much into it. :)

Of course, if the person in question knows you know Japanese, yet keeps talking to you in English, then it might be better to assume something is not right. :)

As a counterpoint to the sibling replies, I speak fluent Japanese and was still refused entry to a local izakaya in Hakodate. It wasn't about the language, I made plenty clear that I could speak it well. They just didn't like foreigners. Racism and discrimination is definitely a thing here, and I certainly wouldn't go back to that restaurant.

However it's only happened once in a year of living here and never in Tokyo, only a ruralish city, so I don't take it as an indictment on Japanese people. I'm sure there are plenty of bars in rural America or Australia (where I'm from) that would have been equally unfriendly to someone of Asian ethnicity. At the end of the day you just have to decide not to let it ruin your day that there are some bad eggs in the bunch, no matter which country it is.

*Caveat though that I've heard it is much worse here for people from China than it is for white foreigners such as myself. If it made up a significant portion of my experience it would be hard to live here comfortably.

> The biggest thing I've felt since moving here: whether or not you can speak and interact in Japanese makes a world of difference. Seriously.

Literally right for almost every country: France without knowing French, US without English, Taiwan with Chinese or Taiwanese, Egypt without Arabic... Japan is not special in that regard, save for the fact that most people here have quite a low level of English (which is also not very specific to Japan).

So I wholly agree that making the effort to learn the local language repays by itself for any medium or long stay.

Indeed you are right, it's true for almost any country in the world. Knowing the local language is a huge plus everywhere!

You really don't need to speak much of the local language to get food in a restaurant. I have no experience of Japan but I've spent close to a year in China spread over a dozen trips. I ate in a number of different places, bought silk for my wife, etc., all without being able to speak the local language. My experience is that throwing yourself on the mercy of the the waiter works quite well with some sign language and perhaps a simple phrasebook not just in China but also in Spain. After all the restaurant wants you to come back and to tell your friends how good it is.

Rants are by definition long right :)? It was a good one and I enjoyed it! Thanks.

Thank you!

Actually, I realized this after writing out the whole thing but that sorry for the long rant is kind of like a good manners thing in Japanese internets. If you look up "長文失礼しました。", which literally means "Excuse me for the long writeup", it's usually appended to say a comment in a blog, or sometimes at the end of a Tweet when the speaker felt what they said is a bit on the longer side.

I somehow ended up picking up that habit somewhere down the line it seems. :)