I can contrast it with another city I have lived in (on and off for 2-3 years), and that's Seoul. In my first year in Seoul, I probably met more close friends than in a decade of living in Tokyo. I'm an introvert through and through, so unless people open up to me first, there is going to be silence. Tokyo has a way of making you comfortable with the mundane.
Seoul is just this bustling amazing city with an energy of "anything is possible" in the air. Tokyo seems as though it has already had its heyday and is on a slow, silent, but peaceful decline. I love my little neighborhood, and have made a life for myself in Tokyo, but I can't honestly recommend it as a place to move to, unless you have some deep interest in Japan or family connections.
If you are interested in the startup scene, it's here but nothing on the scale that you would see in the US. I'd say Seoul is the place to be for startups now -- the Korean government is pretty much throwing money at people with ideas.
I'll always call Japan home, but I definitely see myself leaving Tokyo in the near future, if not for another city, then back to Korea.
To give some context, I'm a male 30 something PoC.
A lot (if not majority) of foreigners fall for the image Japan has when it's observed from abroad. That's a very unfortunate illusion
Proof of Concept?
And now that you know the meaning you’ll be seeing it every where... Baader Meinhof phenomenon and all that.
Maybe. (I certainly do experience that in general!) In the UK though I very rarely hear people describe themselves or others as 'a person/people of colour' though, even in full I mean; it's American to my ear.
I found it lonely for the same reason I loved the city: it was so familiar, and yet so different at the same time. I felt like gears that were slightly out of mesh, not enough to snap, but enough to wear away the edges and cause subtle damage over time.
Making friends as an adult is always hard, but being a transplant into such a new culture is even harder. Everyone was friendly, but finding true connection is difficult: language barriers, cultural differences, biases (on both sides), and perhaps the transitory nature of my stay meant there was always a constant difference.
I always felt like an outsider, even when welcomed warmly. Maybe this was me, but I always knew I was being accommodated: "he's a gaijin, he doesn't know better." This was absolutely kind, but I also knew that I didn't know better, and didn't know what I didn't know, and that created a subtle tentativeness and friction in social interactions.
The classic scenes of Tokyo streets with tall buildings filled with small shops and laced with vertical signage is an apt metaphor for living in Tokyo. There is so much hidden behind the facades that it takes a lifetime to know what's really there, unless you have a guide with infinite patience.
Maybe other cities, or towns, would be different. Maybe it would be much easier if I was fluent, or planned to stay for years. Maybe someone without tendencies towards introversion, or who went with a partner to lean on, would have a very different experience.
But like I said, many small factors just wore on me, and I was happy to return to the warm embrace of home.
I'm afraid I don't know enough about the startup scene to do more than speculate. I was there representing an enterprise software company, which has very different dynamics - especially in Japan.
This was also a point in time where our shop started insisting on receipts for travel expenses. I always got something that had a number on it, but lord knows what it actually said. Was rather a snarky moment when I handed over the stack of receipts all in Japanese.
I really miss the travel...
(Though Japan on an expense report is really the best way to go, unless you're fabulously wealthy. I can't say I'm complaining!)
In the last 20 years, a lot of Chinese tradition and respect has been thrown out and attitudes towards business and family flipped on its head with the rise of Chinese capitalism - a lot of hustle and winner takes all at the expense of everyone else attitude.
The elite and/or hustling Chinese embrace western things and incorporate them in their life -- even flexing their English knowledge is a way to signal social/economic class in China. I'm not an expert in Japan, but I don't see a lot of English flexing in Japanese culture.
In terms of being an expat, plenty of expat + curiosity in Chinese cities to never really be lonely.
Could you expand upon this? I've been thinking of moving there for a year or two to focus on my language skills and work on my startup.
I spent a lot of time in Obihiro, Hokkaido in my late teens and had a blast hanging out at the university. Everyone was super friendly.
When I traveled to even more remote towns like Hobetsu / Mukawa, Makubetsu, Ashoro, and Honbetsu, the children would run up to meet me and want to take photos. (They don't see foreigners often.)
I never spent much time in Tokyo, but I did spend a lot of time in Shanghai, Changsha, and other big Chinese cities and almost want to consider that a proxy.
Why is Tokyo lonely? Is it this city in particular? Is it a certain age range?
Post-college and into adulthood does it become lonelier?
Also, what's the startup scene like in Tokyo? I'm considering something a few steps beyond VTuber streaming and think Japan would be a great environment to pull talent from.