Indeed, my own family is exactly what you described here. They are affluent wealthy and nice public-facing people.

In private they hate the 'poors, blacks, queers', et al.

Boggled my mind reading gp's comment, as in my experience it's been the reverse- I had to distance myself from the wealthy part of my own family because 'the poors' have always been better people in general: more forgiving, understanding, compassionate.