In private they hate the 'poors, blacks, queers', et al.
Boggled my mind reading gp's comment, as in my experience it's been the reverse- I had to distance myself from the wealthy part of my own family because 'the poors' have always been better people in general: more forgiving, understanding, compassionate.
That does not mean, within the city, the wealthy are more tolerant than the poor. It’s a system effect. When tolerant people densify, they become more productive. This might be because they can exist more compactly. Or it might be something about how interactions in a tolerant society work.
The country club analogy was solely an equivalence of cost. If I were in Tulsa, I imagine I would have to pay that much to get access to the restaurants, theatre, arts and clubs that I take for granted in New York.