100% this. I was thankful when someone gave me this advice and finally found a therapist that's been such a huge help in dealing with depression. If you (swat535, or anyone) need someone to talk to please hit me up, my email is in my profile.
The OP was open and honest rather than vulnerable. If we want equality and open dialogue, we have to be careful to make our language inclusive. 'Vulnerable' is associated with being weak for some people and isn't an inclusive word.
I don't consider myself vulnerable when I share something close to my heart. I would never share anything in a space where being 'vulnerable' was encouraged.
Open and honest.. not vulerable.
Because in this world; very often, making yourself emotionally vulnerable DOES expose one to some pretty horrible abuse, if you do it in the wrong setting. And it often ends up making the problem worse, prolonging or even preventing recovery.
We'd really like to live in a world where people are not driven to attack each other when they are down. But unfortunately, that's not the world we live in, and I think people need to be pretty vigilant when they're going through something like this and looking for help. TBH I find that anonymous internet forums are very useful places for this sort of thing, (because they're free, and convenient) - but on the other hand, there are some really bad predators out there who are constantly on the lookout for a gazelle to eat.
So yes, let's drop the "vulnerability" word.
To be blunt, it sounds like you’ve been tossed into a blender, and I can’t think of anyone in my life who could have gone through all of what you just described and not feel exhausted so please keep that in mind. It sounds like a lot.
I don’t have any advice to give except, if you are able, find and speak to a professional therapist. I thought I was above that sort of thing until my own mental health got so bad it was basically one of my only options.
One thing I wish someone had told me in my mental health journey - If you don’t connect with the first (or second, or third) therapist you meet with, fire them and look for a new one. You won’t offend the first (or second, or third) therapist because they have the same goal you do, which is to get you into a better place. It took me three tries to make the right connection with someone I spent about six months working with and it has made a big improvement in my well being.
Sending positive vibes!