The way you treat your body tells a lot about your character as well. Besides, most of it is subconscious (see studies on how more attractive candidates get the job, are perceived as more trustwhorthy or capable, get shorter jail sentences)

You live in that world lol, read one of the thousands of studies on beauty and how it affects work, relationships, confidence, happiness, wealth, etc. etc. etc....

Are you telling me if you see someone in great shape running and someone morbidly obese in a scooter, your reaction to both will be the same? Maybe I am cynical but I don't believe that.

yup, absolutely.

every human being deserves the same respect and love regardless of their appearance, and making any difference is something that i deeply reject, and i feel ashamed if i catch myself with such a thought.

Not that it's a good thing (it's not), but this is the reality we live in thanks to millions of years of evolution. Culture can distort and twist our genetic imperatives, but can never actually roll them back.

And that's not at all what OP said.

Or, if you're actually complaining about people getting any respect at all for the work they put into their physical appearance?

depends on where it's coming from.

if my friends compliment me for the hard work i did as they notice the improvement, then that's fine.

but a random stranger has no business judging my appearance, regardless if it's positive or negative.

Well, you're not entitled to any respect whatsoever. If someone is going to respect certain things that don't apply to you, it's you who has no business complaining about that.

Where does the comment you responded to even talk about random strangers?

> and the amount of respect I got after less than a year of diligent weight lifting was incredible

Sounds to me like this is mostly about friends or acquaintances. All you're doing here is trying to invalidate something someone else did that they feel somewhat proud about.

you are probably right, i read the comment as receiving respect from everyone and not just friends.

it was also not my intention to invalidate the achievement of someone improving their bodyshape, which, as someone who is overweight myself, is something i wish i could achieve too (although i am somewhat proud of the fact that i kept my weight stable for the last 20 years) and i appreciate your criticism as i realize that my comment can be read like that.

i'd like to apologize for that.

what rubbed me wrong was the implied suggestion that i should improve my body in order to get more respect from friends or anyone else.

it felt to me like doing it for the wrong reasons. again, while saying that i realize that this may not be what the comment intended to express, and i am saying this now not in order to restate or repeat any criticism on my part, but in order to explain my thought process however inadequate it may be.

finally, my comment was not meant critisize the parent at all personally but rather critisize the very idea of respecting someone for their body shape.

you seem misunderstand what i am trying to say. i am not complaining about being treated badly, but i am trying to present a model how we interact with each other.

maybe it helps to reverse the positions:

it is fine for me to compliment my friends on their achivements to loose weight because i know where they came from, but it is not acceptable to judge someone elses appearance because i don't know how it will be perceived. especially if it happens in public, congratulating someone on their body while not doing that on the nearby overweight person potentially makes that person uncomfortable.

likewise, receiving a compliment that i don't deserve makes me uncomfortable too.

we do need to consider how our messages are received. and with someone i don't know, i can't predict how that message is received, therefore it is better not to send the messsge in the first place.

if i do want to send a message i try to word it in such a way as to not be about them but about me: i would like to get my body in a shape like yours this removes any potential misunderstanding that i might generally favor people with a certain body shape, and it won't make other overweight people in the room feel bad.

Well, that's the world you're living in. What are you going to do about it?

showing equal respect to everyone, regardless of their achievements. teaching my kids to be respectful, and not judge others based on their perception

I was not talking about I was reacting to others, I was talking about how others, whom I have no control on, were reacting to me. In other words, you seem to have completely misinterpreted my rather short comment.

no, that is exactly my point. the only way i can influence the behavior of others is to model and teach better behavior myself.

so i am doing this with the express goal to counteract how other people are reacting to me or to anyone else.

That's either naïve or just delusional.