You are absolutely correct! There was a brief period during XP, I think, where this was the case. Irrespective of that, reboots are a fact of life if you have Windows installed, and allowing and choosing the best time for Windows to reboot is a part of having Windows installed.
Don't use Windows if you can't deal with the reboots. Use Mac or Linux.
They force it on you too. I'm not sure if they ever go ahead and automatically restart / update. But the OS constantly nags you to update.
I yearn back to the good ol days, when you would issue a command to a computer and it would execute that command and then wait for the next command. The user called the shots. Now computers do all sorts of things that their manufacturer wants, or the OS vendor wants, or the application developer wants. My desire as a user is secondary or unimportant. Automatic software installation, sudden reboots, notifications, Try YouTube Premium!, analytics collection, ads on my browser, ads in the start menu, ads inside applications, Try YouTube Premium!, Setup Cortana!, Setup Siri!, Setup Windows Defender!, Setup your Microsoft Account, Turn on virus protection, Take a Tour, Here's What's New, Keyboard Batteries Low, Disk Not Ejected Properly, Try YouTube Premium!
Just stop it!
I wish computers would stop just doing things on their own, and that I could go back to my computer only doing things that I ask it to do.
Perhaps that's why you aren't asked?
Younger peers think that Microsoft being evil was a fad or a meme, but I remember bribing lawsuits where Microsoft would earn literal billions of dollars shoving their software to the state offices, schools etc., and vendor locking it to the point where anything FOSS would just bork out.
Too bad we don't care for the modern corporate history as much as we do for the non-modern one.
If it's a userspace-based model with kernel modules (like nvidia) - yes, you can insert/remove kernel modules without rebooting and exchange userspace libs freely.
If it's an in-kernel driver part like the i915 module that comes bundled with your distro's kernel, you can kexec the new kernel, which is simple with systemctl kexec.
It will likely require to exit and restart the graphical session though.
I don’t either, but also the forced reboots only happen once a month for me, right after patch Tuesdays. I’ve found that setting updates to manual and proactively updating on that day gets rid of almost all forced reboots. Of course now you have an extra thing to remember, but it does generally fix the problem.
As far as I'm concerned, the problem is that the system is unable to update itself without rebooting.