Your hosts are still packed with a bunch libraries and services (sshd for example) that should probably be updated with regularity.
I echo a lot of what you say here regarding run anywhere and not marrying some giant vendor.
On hosts I manage professionally, I update/upgrade weekly after reading the notes - it takes a few minutes, I know I'm up to date and if there is anything I should be wary of.
On a personal debian server, I have an update/dist-upgrade -y nightly on a cron job, and I reboot if I read on HN/slashdot/reddit/lwn about an important kernel fix; Never had an issue, and I suspect it's about as secure and trouble free as whatever is underlying lambda -- with the exception that every 3-4 years I have to do an OS upgrade.
Then how do you know they are still secure and even working?
Yes, deploying servers is very easy, maintaining and securing them is the hard part. Sure, you can automate the updates and it will work with a good OS-Distribution for some years. But no system is perfect, exploits are everywhere, even in your own configuration. And then it becomes tricky to protect your data.
Also no need to be that scared about servers.
That hard drive event showed me how disposable the machine itself has become thanks to docker.
How much would you even pay for hosting? $2 a month?
My point was about having portable code on generic hardware, which in my opinion is a better bet than writing Amazon software for Amazon servers, and praying their prices don't change much.
None of that requires OS maintenance. My house plants require far more maintenance than my software. I sometimes forget where some things run because I haven't touched them in years.
Serverless code runs on the cloud you built it for. I don't want that. I don't want to invest years of my life becoming an Amazon developer, writing Amazon code for Amazon servers.
That's without delving into the extra work serverless requires. There isn't a dollar amount tied to my import statements. I don't need software to help me graph and make sense of my infrastructure. I can run my code on my computer and debug it, even offline.