> I'm already the third person to pull this quote out of your post. I think you need to stop and look at this. You are saying "I am living beyond my means."

I think that's right.

I took a significant pay cut a few years ago in an (unsuccessful) effort to safeguard my team from downsizing. Almost immediately following this change in financial situation my father became extremely ill and was either in hospital or at home requiring extensive care arrangements up until his death ten months ago. For a period of at least 12 months my income was considerably lower than the amount I had committed to family, and I was stupid enough to not ask for support.

I have since relocated my immediate family to a cheaper city and my salary has returned to its past peak but repayments for loans I had irresponsibly taken out during the aforementioned period have put me in a situation where it has taken one year to put aside two months worth of fixed cost expenses in the event I am without employment.

There's a lot of good advice in this thread, and I've read your responses to many of them. I want to bring up the possibility that your feeling of impending doom in your professional capacity is actually more a reflection of the significant personal and financial stresses that you've been going through, rather than due to any real inadequacies in your engineering ability. If you've been able to lead a team for half a decade successfully, then you would definitely count as a capable senior engineer. From one of your other replies, it sounds like you've stopped reading professional books. That's completely understandable due to what had been going on with your father (RIP, condolences). So before you do anything rash career-wise, I would advise you to take a break, get your own mental and physical state back to a more healthy state, and then see if you're still having the same panicky thoughts regarding your career.

Let me offer the usual cliche "Hang in there man, you'll get through it."

Sometimes life, for lack of a better term, just screws you real good.

Two years ago, my partner and I (through similar unplanned, horrific life-events) became homeless and without a vehicle.

Church soup kitchens, foodstamps, whole nine yards. We were stuck in a foreign US state, with no family, and not a penny to our name.

Long story short, eventually we clawed our way out of this situation.

For whatever it's worth, I just wanted to tell you that I (think) I know what you're going through, how awful and stress-inducing it is, and that you will have better days ahead.

I was afraid you were going to say that. The information is still valuable for the audience even if you are already aware.

Is it too late to ask people for a little help?

You should still consider the house refinance, if you aren't renting. You might be able to dip into your equity a bit and pay down your highest interest loan a bit faster. When I make extra payments I explain them to myself as taking X months off of the loan. It helps me and my family understand why we aren't spending it on improvements or a trip.

Sorry for the delay in responding. I wanted to say something useful and then life interrupted.

Have you already looked into refinancing that debt? If you have a relatively high paying job, you may be able to get a lower interest rate, especially now.

There is a certain level of “being trapped” into needing a higher income that happens as your responsibilities increase - children, needing to be in a “good” school district, maybe needing to take care of elderly parents etc.

Exactly this, it comes with just life. Not everyone is a struggling single person blowing their money. Sometimes things just grow as you go even when you are not living an outrageous life style.