IME, there's simply no getting around the fact that if you want better performance, efficiency, and/or latency, you have to design your entire stack holistically. A library promising a generic API with a supposedly generic "optimization" is often already suboptimal, and architecting an application with that mindset (e.g. trying to push all the hard parts behind a generic getter/setter API) makes the suboptimality grow non-linearly.
I agree about ASN.1. The ASN.1 specifications are well written and everything is very well thought out (even though it's not always obvious why without the benefit of hindsight). Though, for a long while they weren't freely available, officially or unofficially. Thankfully that's changed (not sure precisely when that happened), but it cost them a lot in terms of mindshare and was a big reason, I suspect, for the horrible open source tooling both then and now.
Also, the ITU-T specs for ASN.1 are some of the best-written specs I've ever had to read and use. ASN.1 may seem dated and ugly, but its world-class specs are a real advantage, IMO.