The word "incel" was coined by a woman named Alana, from Canada, back in the 1990s [1]. She originally intended the term as denoting help and support for the romantically unsuccessful of all genders and sexual orientations. It was only later, after she'd stepped away from the movement (her lack of romantic success turned out to be a passing phase in life, as is the experience of very many), that it morphed into a cesspool of toxic misogyny.

But I think that change in definition has been harmful to those covered by the original definition, who are now denied the possibility of a positive identity and supportive community that Alana's original vision offered them. Indeed, any attempts today to found such an identity or community, especially one which is inclusive of heterosexual men, are going to be very quickly tarred by association with the new definition of "incel".

[1] https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-us-canada-45284455 but also I remember some of this: I was never actively involved in Alana's website, but I can definitely remember stumbling across it in the 1990s