I can't speak for anyone else, but I transitioned before I had met another tg person. When I transitioned I was already apart of a social group. I didn't need to fit in or find my place. When I was a kid I got along with both boys and girls making friends with both.

People do seek out others like themselves, but transgender communities are rare, because transgender people are rare. There are not many of them. When there are hundreds of people gossiping about transgendered people for every transgendered person it's easy for faulty information to be spread. There is a lot of misunderstandings about transgender people.