"Should" is a funny word. Seems to be used mostly when one's ideas about how reality "should" work come up against how reality "does" work; from orbital procession to the photoelectric effect.

"Should" is an opportunity many don't take to go "huh, that's funny" and learn something about reality.

"Group behavior should not affect individuals in this way" according to what principles and theories? It does - so, which of those principles and theories are wrong or incomplete? What other forces are at work? Are any of these factors the sort that can be effected by human civilization design, or do they arise from things we can't meaningfully effect? If they're designed, what're the Chesterton's Fences around them?