Still, I think it's better to make such choices intentionally, informed by both conscious deliberation and gut-check instincts. There are instances where one can "throw good money after bad", wasting altruistic resources to no end; or, where "tough love" is warranted, such as the case of enabling addicts and alcoholics, and the kindest act to take might be to withdraw.
Reframing back to speech issues, the current standard I'd like to see in public squares, is the "beyond a shadow of a doubt" standard that is (ostensibly) applied in our legal system. It's easy to squint at something like "The Bell Curve" and see arguments for scientific racism, and under a "preponderance of evidence" standard, perhaps it would be found guilty; but we should find the prospect of discarding potentially true ideas as abhorrent as convicting a potentially innocent citizen. Nonetheless, in private life, we are free to draw whatever conclusions we please, where we consider that OJ Simpson probably committed murder, and Charles Murray might not be an entirely unbiased analyst. (Though perhaps the very crux of the matter is the blending between public and private realms of thought. What would a quasi-Bayesian Rule of Law look like in the court of public opinion and outrage mobs?)
Be charitable anyway. Be kind anyway. Love anyway.
The alternative - not being charitable, not being kind, not loving - can ruin your life. Yes, you can be exploited. But give charity, kindness, and love, if not for the other person, then for yourself. Being the kind of person who won't be kind or love is miserable.