It's actually not an absurd straw man, because, similar to getting a vaccine, a big part of wearing a mask is demonstrating respect for others. I certainly don't think it's some sort of panacea, but unlike shutting down businesses the cost is virtually nothing. The fact that the tiniest of inconveniences, in order to show respect for your fellow humans, is met with cries of "my freedom!!" is incredibly sad to me.

And talk about a straw man: "strap a spit-covered rag to their face". Most people wash their clothes. I certainly hope you don't "strap a shit covered rag (i.e. underwear)" to their bottom.