For example, back in 2017 Cloudflare was basically looking at this as a question of which hardware ran most cost-effectively rather than having engineering heroics first: https://blog.cloudflare.com/arm-takes-wing/
My company definitely had problems to get database drivers to work generally speaking and on both 32 bits and 64 bits. Have a look at postgres, oracle, cassandra, redis, sybase to name a few, I am not sure which one was worse, it wasn't me doing the work. But I've seen some of the C and C++ dependencies that needed to compile with the errors that happened and that was horrendous.
If you want a sample. Try to install the cassandra client library in python. It will pull in and compile all sort of shit. That's supposed to be python and easily cross platform.
Yes, we should clean up the mess! It doesn't mean it's not a mess. And I think the mess is actually still understated.
You can't run your x86 docker image on your ARM mac without emulation. You can't run your x86 Windows VM without emulation etc.
Of course there are solutions like using a remote server or a VM in the cloud, but if you're buying a decent machine then you would normally expect to be able to run these things locally.