In my opinion, we can accept that reality is very severely non-optimal while still trying our best to avoid the problems that reality causes. Or in the words of Hunter S. Thompson (maybe misattributed): 'Pray to God, but row away from the rocks.'
A flight attendant approaches the student in economy class and offers them a free upgrade, presumably because he is perceived to be of an important profession. Completely ignoring the ridiculously qualified, well-traveled, multiple language speaking, highly cited professor. They were quite salty but it made for a good story over some beers!
You forgot about wearing glasses. For some reason Airport security sees no danger in people wearing glasses. Shaving, wearing bland clothes and glasses (fake, because my vision is fine) are part of my travel strategy. And i am not joking.