I don't see why it's a meaningless distinction. To pull off a MITM, you need quite a bit more than a Perl script, and you're pretty much not going to do it on a network that you do not control. I'm speaking from a basic knowledge of networking theory (I've unintentionally avoided dark arts), so I'm willing to be corrected if I'm wrong.
That's the value I see: I don't think I'm going to walk into Starbucks with Perl and successfully MITM even my theoretical browser that doesn't care about self-signed certificates. The value is that in that scenario, even a self-signed makes reading traffic that doesn't belong to you harder.
I'm here to discuss, though, and I'm willing to learn; don't give up so easily.
These are not theoretical attacks. Any 16 year old with a $300 netbook can download software written by others and perform these attacks at your local Starbucks in a few hours. They would be able to see all traffic (even https) and without self-signed warnings the only outward sign would be the lack of the green url bar associated with EV certs.
Meanwhile, the proxy attack is the gold standard on the actual Internet we all use. Sniffers are obsolete.
The distinction you're trying to draw between "attacks that can be carried out with Wireshark" and "attacks that can be carried out with Wireshark and a Perl script" aren't meaningful to me, so I'm obviously the wrong person to try to persuade you about this. Sorry for wasting your time.