Certified crazy friend wanted to shoot people at a synagogue. Family, friends, employer and psychiatrist agree he needs to be taken in? Nothing.

Witnessed a person hit my car, give them the license plate? Nothing.

Multiple burglaries in a remote area, with video footage and time stamps? Do they run a Google location tracking query after I point out they can and should? Of course not.

Hand them the address of a repeated trespasser that’s threatened to damage my property, with video footage? They’ll enforce the law ($500 fine next offense, misdemeanor after that) if I spend $10k’s on a civil case, and the court orders them to do so. If I do nothing, they’ll encumber the deed to my property with a prescriptive easement for the jackass.

Nightly drug deals in my back yard keep waking me up? They’ll have a patrol car drive by in 5 hours.

That time the DMV received, recorded but failed to process my smog check? >$1000 in fines, and two days missed work.

Once a black lady ran a light in a car I‘d sold. That was the crime of the century! They tracked me down and threatened to take legal action against me if I didn’t say who she was. I had no idea; it went to an auction house. It took multiple phone calls and two letters to prove I hadn’t had a sex change and somehow switched races. They “resolved” it by saying they’d either drop charges, or they’d assume I waived my right to trial and issue an arrest warrant. They said there was no way for me to tell me which of those things they did. It’s been a few years, and no one’s arrested me. I guess I’m good?

Each incident happened in a different city in the SF bay area.