My favorite nerd hysteria conspiracy theory is that Apple runs its computers hot and fans loud in order to sell AirPods.

I think the goal of running Macs hot is to prevent the fans from kicking in for most use-cases. If you're running twelve virtual machines and compiling Chromium simultaneously, then you might need earplugs.

Below a certain rpm you practically cant hear the fans. Even with them screetching, if you are in a room with an ac unit or outside, it would be tough to notice.

Never got this gripe personally, as I’ve never had a quiet device in my life. Certainly not from apple.