Something it took me a long time to learn is that meaning isn't a "thing". You can't quantify it or find it through reductionism. Reductionism leads, eventually, to nihilism. But that doesn't mean meaning isn't real; it just doesn't survive the translation. You have to be present in the momentary reality and open up and see it in front of you. It isn't the iron waiting to be purified by process, it's all the other stuff around it.

(I'm making a lot of assumptions about what you're talking about and what your background is; if you're truly struggling with this, I always recommend therapy)

Everything is meaningless. Find what you like and stick to it.

Meaning of what?