> With coworkers we have an opportunity for personal growth

I read this as an opportunity to act like someone you're not, aka, conformity. With friends, I can be myself, and surround myself with people I actually like, vs trying to convince myself to like people that I'm around.

> With friends, I surround myself with people I actually like

There's a very strong correlation between how much we like someone and how similar they are to us. We like people with shared values and hobbies and opinions on important topics. Our friend group has a tendency towards homogeneity unless we actively try to avoid it.

If we assume that diversity of thought is a good thing, being forced into situations where you can't choose the people who will surround you (school, college, workplace) is probably a good thing. Seeing things from the perspective of folks different from us is the personal growth GP was talking about.

> We like people with shared values and hobbies and opinions on important topics.

This is probably the crux of making someone likeable or not.

> If we assume that diversity of thought is a good thing

I don't really care what other people think.

> Seeing things from the perspective of folks different from us is the personal growth GP was talking about.

When did everyone start earning these self-help merit badges for themselves?

To me, this is the other way round. Since coworkers cannot leave, there is no benefit in being somebody else. The only conformity is towards the boss because it is a non-equal power relation.

The personal growth comes from accepting somebody else the way he is.

Friends on the other hand, also choose. So if I want to spend time with them I have to conform to joined values. It's a non-issue most of the times because friends are chosen among people with similar values. Still, when it comes to conformity, it's the friendship that depends on it.

I think this is the reason people's closest friends often come from school. It's so easy in adult life to avoid the difficult work of connecting with people who you don't immediately click with, and it seems like many people take this easy choice once they're out of the mandatory school environment. This is a problem I struggle with even in the office, and I'm beginning to realize how much worse it can be when working remotely.

Alternatively, my time is a lot more valuable than it was when I was stuck in school all day every day. I am not limited to where I can meet people. Why waste time trying to start a relationship that begins with difficulty when theres so many options that don't.