> If I wrote a "steaming pile of crap" I don't want to hear "it is not very good".
I don't see how either statement is of any use for you?
With the first I want to know why immediately with the later I will eventually ask for clarification. It is also an invitation for critical examination.
I do some accounting for who says what. How much they normally complaint? How often are they right? How do they deal with similar feedback?
There is this hilarious place few get to visit where everyone is complaining about everything all of the time while the mood is just wonderful. The work delivered is of exceptional quality.
thoughts > filter > communication > thoughts
With grown ups it should work like:
thoughts > communication > filter > thoughts
You want the full spectrum of gradients of terribility. If I wrote a "steaming pile of crap" I don't want to hear "it is not very good". "not very good" is reserved for things that are "not very good".
food half frozen != under cooked
The alternative is teaching people not to give you feedback because you are emotional unstable and might take it the wrong way.
Just because someone is a dick doesn't mean they are wrong. You have to adjust for their lack of social skills. You want to own the filter, don't require others to maintain it for you. That is a terrible idea! To them the trash talk is treasure.