I feel like if this is an issue, there's a larger issue in the team. I've only ever witnessed language be an important issue if people felt overwhelmed, stressed and treated badly. On the other hand, when people feel treated fairly and are happy, most don't care for niceties and prefer straight to the point communication.

Especially rewording change requests as questions is something I don't like. Is this something that should be done? Is it just a question about the technical possibility? A request for comments about the intended change? (I've seen them all and the more friendly they are worded, the harder they are to tell apart)