I feel like if this is an issue, there's a larger issue in the team. I've only ever witnessed language be an important issue if people felt overwhelmed, stressed and treated badly. On the other hand, when people feel treated fairly and are happy, most don't care for niceties and prefer straight to the point communication.

Especially rewording change requests as questions is something I don't like. Is this something that should be done? Is it just a question about the technical possibility? A request for comments about the intended change? (I've seen them all and the more friendly they are worded, the harder they are to tell apart)

Is it really?

I can find instructions disguised as questions condescending, for example.

I believe no amount of wording will help if people are not trusting each other. I would rather work on team building than comment guidelines.

But instructions are given by superiors, while code reviews (generally) by peers. If someone you don't respect starts barking "Change 'this' to 'that'", would you?

I mean sure, in some cases you can completely disassociate from the human side of code, disregard a comment's name in favor of objective truth or however you want to word it, but in a lot of instances you still have to share the same office with that person.

Yes and no. It depends on the team and the culture. My favorite was when I worked in a team of only senior engineers we would leave comments like 's/this/that/g other than than LGTM'. This was all that was needed, no fluff.

In other teams, a comment like this would have meant a chat with HR. We can't make rules for these things, because people and thus teams are different.