Brandsma 1980 is the only study I can think of off of the top of my head comparing AA (and a few other therapies) to no treatment; AA (and everything else) did significantly better than getting no help.
What this new Cochrane study demonstrates is that AA is more effective at giving alcoholics long-term abstinence than traditional psychotherapy treatments.
I don't know what to tell you. Your callous dismissal of the seriousness of alcohol dependency is an ideological position, not one based on reason or science.
Source: a lifetime of addiction in my family and loved ones. Some made it out. That transformation is astonishing. Others didn’t. When you think it can’t get any worse, it can. It’s made me realize that we are all addicts. There is always some void in life that becomes deeper by the behavior used to fill it. Everybody.
My impression is reinforced with, imo, your trite "we're ALL addicts" platitude. Yeah, we all get distracted sometimes and get hung up on the bit of cleaning. That doesn't mean we all have ADHD and OCD. There are ways to establish a middle ground without downplaying legitimate disorders.
Try harder.