You may need to check your math. Inverse square does not fall off faster than exponential.

1/x² has a singularity and rises faster than exponential as you approach it. We're talking about getting closer to the source, not further.

Ah, I see. In that direction, you are correct.

It should be obvious that real world antenna don’t behave this way as they are not point sources. But, mathematically you’re correct.

As you get closer and closer to the surface of the phone, phenomena progress from a visible glow, to pair production, to the thermodynamic stability of quark-gluon plasma.

No. All polynomials and rational functions fall off drastically slower than exponential.

We're talking about the rise in power as you get closer. 1/x² has a singularity, I doubt exp(x) can beat that...

Good point! -ln(x) may (would have to check), but exp(0) = 1 and 1/02 is defined as positive infinity (the Real numbers are not closed under division).

No, division just isn't a total function.

I think these may be the same thing in this case.

I'm following along in this thread here and double checking everybody's math.

So... does this mean I will die from radiation or not?

This thread is actually irrelevant to the radiation question due to the plane radiator thing mentioned above.