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Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by melbourne_mat on Thursday February 06, 2020 @03:57PM (#22260198)
I'm going to counter the "therapists are great" theme that I'm seeing here. I think they're a waste of money. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a great tool. With practise and courage you can use it to reform the way you think. It won't fix something like schizophrenia but it might be useful for a narcissist who wants to change.
Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by tomnipotent on Thursday February 06, 2020 @04:01PM (#22260240)
> It won't fix something like schizophrenia

Your comment is terribly unhelpful. Therapy isn't about "fixing" someone, but to help individuals with issues that negatively affect their life find opportunities to manage those issues. CBT is not something you can start doing by yourself without an external catalyst.

I have ADHD, OCD, and bipolar II along with recurring bouts of PTSD from a terribly traumatic childhood. Without therapy, I would have considerable more issues integrating with my peers and navigating the emotional turmoil that is the battlefield of my brain. Therapy has assisted me in shifting my perspective and enabling me to live my best life despite the demons that seem to constantly want to drag me down.

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by webmobdev on Thursday February 06, 2020 @08:00PM (#22262197)
> CBT is not something you can start doing by yourself without an external catalyst.

I disagree strongly with this part. The "Feeling Good" book by David D Burns, which is essentially a fantastic primer on CBT, single handedly helped me conquer my depression in college and helped me graduate with high scores, just when I was on the verge of dropping out. It was god send to me because I couldn't afford to go to a therapist. (And depression was just one of the psychological problems that I had, which later therapy helped me identify).

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by ItsMattyG on Thursday February 06, 2020 @06:28PM (#22261586)
> CBT is not something you can start doing by yourself without an external catalyst.

Sure it is. Self-therapy is useful, getting a therapist is useful.

Why is everyone shitting on other people's vibe?

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by tomnipotent on Thursday February 06, 2020 @06:52PM (#22261732)
> Why is everyone shitting on other people's vibe?

Because people provide horrible advice like this that prevents people from getting the help they need. Stigma is a real thing.

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by munificent on Thursday February 06, 2020 @05:36PM (#22261209)
> I think they're a waste of money.

This is a valid opinion, but it would be better presented with some evidence to support it.

When someone says "A therapist really helped me." then their opinion carries its own evidence. They are a living evidential proof of their claim. (At least, to the degree that you accept that the commenter is honest and able to correctly measure their own quality of life.)

But when you say "therapists are a waste of money", your claim shows only absence of evidence, not evidence of absense. It may be that therapists aren't good for you, or that you haven't had a good one, or simply that you have no experience with them at all.

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by serf on Thursday February 06, 2020 @07:02PM (#22261803)
>When someone says "A therapist really helped me." then their opinion carries its own evidence.

that's only true for individuals which you do not believe to be affected by choice-supportive bias[0], which is , more-or-less, non-existent as far as humanity is concerned.

If someone buys therapy, and they feel as if their quality of life has been improved by the purchase, great, but that's not a quantifiable justification of much without normalizing out inherent bias in the decision making process; a process that isn't as simple as 'an opinion as evidence'.

[0]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choice-supportive_bias

Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by munificent on Friday February 07, 2020 @01:39PM (#22269154)
If the goal of therapy is a subjective increase in quality of life, then whether it comes from bias or objective change doesn't really matter. If the happy pills make you happy, it's sort of an implementation detail as to whether or not they are actually just a placebo. Perception is reality when the goal itself is subjective.
Re:Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism? by walleeee on Thursday February 06, 2020 @04:00PM (#22260237)
Plenty of clinical psychologists use CBT in practice.