Everytime I log in on SSH, there's a message encouraging me to try Ubuntu Livepatch, which is an optional premium feature to install kernel updates without rebooting. Free for personal use, just gotta sign up for a Canonical account...

Yes, I was talking about the same thing. Also MOTD gets its updates from Ubuntu servers regularly. I just want a MOTD, not a complete status update from a server which probably marks this fetch as another statistic.

It does?? That's crazy. Lots of people still use the MOTD for their own purposes, after all.

Ubuntu defaults to an Ubuntu-supplied MOTD, but people can totally remove all the default junk and replace it with their desired stuff.

Since Ubuntu is Linux, I assumed that it could be changed. But that it comes configured that way by default seems like a poor choice to me.