Here are the apps I've whitelisted on my 3 year old's iPad. I don't like having video on there because I found passive video consumption dominates all other activities. I've found with a hand-picked set of apps, she naturally self-limits her screen time.

- Metamorphabet. An alphabet toy with high production values. https://metamorphabet.com/

- Endless Alphabet. Discussed elsewhere in this thread. https://www.originatorkids.com/?p=564

- Flow Free. A simple puzzle game kids seem to love. Lots of levels. Make sure to remove the ads. https://www.bigduckgames.com/flowfree

- Divide by Sheep. Actually a pretty difficult game, but for some reason she loves it. https://www.tinybuild.com/dividebysheep.

- Busy Shapes. Simple put the shape in the hole game. Recently has been crashing, though. https://montessori.edokiacademy.com/en/our-games/discovery/b...

- Crazy Gears. A puzzle game that builds intuition about mechanics. See also Busy Water by the same developer. https://montessori.edokiacademy.com/en/our-games/discovery/c...

- Khan Academy Kids. A pretty large library of educational content that nevertheless is engaging enough to compete with the other apps she has access to. Does have a few videos though. https://www.khanacademy.org/kids