I agree with your description. Torchlight II was a compromise - The original idea was to play Divinity Original Sins but I pushed us towards a simpler (and less expensive) game because I suspect neither of us would be able to devote enough mental effort and/or sustain interest for a long time.
If my suspect is wrong, we will try to move on to something more complex.
As a result, they've never really satisfied my roguelike itch tbh.
Also, if that multiplayer + grind/trade/build characters + sets is the main value you get from Torchlight, then probably consider path of exile, which pretty much optimizes purely on the multiplayer aspects of Diablo 2 (Torchlight lacks some purpose imo; they set out to do a better Diablo 2, but didn't really pick a place to optimize, and didn't do well enough at optimizing everything, and didn't really remove any fundamental flaws)