Yet managers, advice columns and books keep spouting the "honest" part. But I guess if one believes those columns one is too naive and therefore not qualified for the job.

It is actually a bit similar when girls say they want a "sweet, nice and caring" guy. But there are people who think they should follow those rules, fail and become resentful towards society for teaching them wrong things. This is just an observation.

Ignore barry-cotter. People do expect you to be honest. It's not a trick question, and there is no clandestine cabal of hiring managers who only want to hire people who play a secret interview game well.

> It is actually a bit similar when girls say they want a "sweet, nice and caring" guy.

In my experience, many women really do want nice, sweet, caring guys. It's just easy for men to think those are the only traits that matter, and that it's also fine to be timid, boring, insecure, clingy, and passive.

Also in the end there are probably different types of managers. Some expect honesty, some don't. Some are optimistic about humankind, some not and others in-between. All of those types can provide value though.

I think it also shows the importance of soft skills. There's been a couple times where I've had disagreements with my team leadership, or senior management. I could make statements about why I thought I had made reasonable decisions. But honestly I would admit that those situations wouldn't have been as serious if I had communicated differently. So at the very least I've learned where overcommunication might be important.

They do want, it is mainly that this is what they keep talking about so it is easy to misunderstand that this is all you have to be.

What they are really attracted to is confidence and often during teenage years and beginning of 20s as well, people who don't give a shit about anyone or anything are the most confident. Hence what happens is the girls are with those confident guys and guys who try to have the traits girls talk about are not. It is not easy to realize this if what you keep hearing from girls, media and films about what they look for in a man.

But actually we are not disagreeing.

This is why it fits with the honest criteria well as it is not clearly so black and white.

I think it's confirmation bias. If you lack confidence but consider yourself nice and caring, then you'll be more on the look out for instances of women saying that's what they want. It's more comforting to hear that, because it means you're just fine, you don't have to change, and it's the world that's unfair.

But let's say you don't have that bias and instead you're taking in ALL the evidence from society, film, books, etc... Well, then it's pretty damn obvious that women tend to like confident men. Look at the hero of pretty much every movie ever. Look at the popular guys in high school and college. The evidence is overwhelming.

Men and women alike want partners who make them feel special. Part of that is how you're treated by that person, sure, but part of it is how "valuable" that person is themselves. My dog can worship the ground I walk on, but at the end of the day he's still just a dog so it doesn't mean much :)

Agreed. I ask it to see just how honest they are. I once had a female candidate say they undercut an employee because they were afraid they would take her job. I still hired her, especially because of that answer, and she worked out great.

This. You're an actor, and this is your audition. Can you play the part of a sane, reliable person that they can trust not to rock the boat? If you're assigned to a doomed project, are you going to trumpet that fact, or say salute and start digging?

I can sympathize. But learn to lie without seeming to.

If you have a firm background and not depending on the job to save you from death by hunger, then you can enjoy the luxury of being honest.

Interestingly, being honest will make you bold and empower to ask questions about sensitive issues you really care about in a job.

Yeah one of my biggest goals is to have "fuck you" retiring money. I wonder if this will drop my anxiety.

I have enough for 6 months for now, but it is not enough. I definitely need to be set for life to not feel that anxiety.

>No one expects you to be honest.

From OP:

>What’s your weakness?

>“Please don’t take the Michael Scott approach and turn this into a backhanded compliment (‘My biggest weakness is that I care too much’). I’d highly recommend giving an honest answer, and one that is as specific as possible and not handwavy.

Some people believe in this B.S.

I remember the quote by Michael Scott when he said that sometimes he starts the sentence unsure of what he is going to say and that he hopes to find out along the way. I can definitely relate to this one during interviews. Especially since it is recommended not to pause and think for too long.

It is actually quite often I can relate to Mr. Scott I can't help but to feel entirely sympathetic towards him.

What you do with your mouth or your typing fingers is much less revealing of what you believe than what you do. Revealed preference is king.

Totally agree! You should be clinically insane to give honest answers to those questions.