There are well-researched emotional intelligence tests that give you a scientific measurement of your abilities (e.g. EQ-i 2.0 model). In fact, they have been personally very helpful to realize that I went through life being unaware of the majority of my own emotional states. I started a game to label how I feel for a few months and that led to some in-depth life changes that I had to make and closed some gaps I had in understanding how others feel.