One possibility would be you're not trendy enough to get the trendy candidates.

There might be an alternative approach that is more suited to non-trendy businesses.

What you can do is write an ad that is trawling for anyone who is at all useful as a problem solver without tech requirements. Then you look at the best of who that brings in, and maybe you find people that others are overlooking and will work for less, with a better attitude than someone who might be tricked into thinking you're trendy and then leave.

Edit: Something I think is key whenever you're trying to select the best of something from a large population, is not to decide up front what the important criteria are. First, figure out how many you need in your pool to evaluate in more detail, and then construct your criteria to get that size pool. At that point, you select the top 10% or 1% or 5 or whatever, for the next level. And then, if you end up with something other than you expected, consider that may not be a flaw in the process, but a sign that you need to adapt to the output and utilize it opportunistically.

You can't just say "these 5 things seem like reasonable requirements" and commit to that because multiple filters can exponentially reduce the results.