Have you ever had to pretend to be enthusiastic about project decisions you didn't agree with? Have you ever had to mask what you would like to say to prevent conflict with a problematic manager or co-worker? Have you ever had to force yourself to be polite, cheerful, and friendly to a customer who really didn't deserve the courtesy?

Other examples:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/04/26/custom...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smile_mask_syndrome

https://digest.bps.org.uk/2017/02/24/theres-such-a-thing-as-...

When you put it that way, authenticity sounds like a terrible idea. But I don’t think authenticity needs to be defined in opposition to professionalism.

One of the best examples I can think of is when a really great technical individual contributor switches to a management career path because in many organizations that is the clearest path for career growth and higher compensation, even when the individual is not really interested in or motivated by managerial responsibilities such as developing others or listening to their problems. This pattern repeats: seeking individual gain by doing something that really is not authenticate to your values and interests, with negative consequences for everyone.

Values have multiple facets. Maybe you prefer to be technical but also want to make more money? In most companies you will have to compromise one of the two.

It requires first knowing what your “self” is or who you are.

Then you need the safety and space to express that “self” in what you do.

For me, who I am means:

* needs I have * boundaries in my relationships * values I hold

Needs are things that can be satiated immediately, through activity (or inactivity)

Boundaries are implicit or explicit (explicit is better for me) edge cases that give me triggers to challenge aspects of other people behaviours that might prevent me satiating my needs or living my values.

Values are concepts that I want to exhibit through my actions in life. Ways I want to live or aspects of my environment I would like to realise or emphasise.

My 2c

Start by making a habit of just telling the truth, as gently as possible.