It helps if you can let go of the top places. I've done a PhD at a subtop institute, less well known, and I made a rule of not working in the weekend/evening (unless it was my own initiative, which was rarely), and I had a blast. I'm doing a postdoc now at another subtop place, which will be the end of my academic career because getting tenure of course still requires more than average, which I'm happy to admit I am.

Joing a top institute is starting training with olympians: most of us can't keep up, but that's fine. Join a local fitness club instead, and suddenly you can. You won't win medals, but you'll still learn a shit-ton, do good research and have fun.