Personally, I think the suggestion that using words in alternative contexts somehow diminishes their power in a negative way to be very silly. Maybe I'm wrong though, and Disney should stop making pirate movies because victims of piracy might be watching.
"Rape" isn't irksome because of its power, but its meaning; if there were or are synonyms, they would be just as bad (assuming they weren't euphemistic to the point of complete obfuscation).
To see American news channels use terms like the "F-word", "N-word", "C-word", etc., when they are reporting on what someone said, it becomes farcical. It reminds me of the Fry and Laurie sketch in a courtroom where Hugh Laurie quotes a heated exchange, but has to replace all the profanities with words that aren't offensive to the court, which obviously distorts the picture and thereby completely destroys the purpose of it.
They already say "rape" outright when reporting on it - which they should - because that's more of a quantitative word. The word "rape" shouldn't be banned or anything like that, but people shouldn't become oblivious to the meaning and ramifications of the word.
Actually, my mom was murdered gruesomely. I have better things to do than getting offended too much over people's word choices when I know that they're just venting and not actually trying to insult me personally.
That said, there's plenty of awkwardness when people assume that a person your age should have living parents and you always end up having to explain what happened when you get to know new people.
I come from a country with perhaps the most open mind on free speech, so there probably isn't going to be anything that gets under my skin - I probably use profanity too much as a result.
I only see "rape" on the internet and don't know how prevalent it is in real-life vernacular in English-speaking countries, but it's something I'm glad I don't see that much (outside of StarCraft 2 discussions).
I don't really know that many contexts a vernacular "murder" is used in, so I don't know about that.
Regardless, the victim isn't going to be able to take any offence.
Feel free to say "fuck", "shit", etc. for all I care.