This probably isn't quite what you're looking, for but I wrote a post back in 2017 that might touch on these items a bit more? https://uglyduck.ca/death-of-personality/ (it's more of a "hot take" on flat design trends making for poor design in general)

There are some good examples of what not to do. Your button state example is the best.

I agree with you that they've turned the dial too far.

I'm hoping someone has a good collection of examples where the designer chose obvious interactions and visuals instead of something "clever" and it turned out well.

It's a strawman version of a blog post. It argues against trivial issues that are inflated into something they aren't.