I know you're making a joke, but thought SVG has been there and working since before Apple outlawed Flash for its battery draining behaviour.

On paper you’re right. The most interactive svg content I’ve seen are small demos and even those have to be hunted for. You don’t have to (or at least you didn’t in the past) have to look very hard to find large amounts of quality flash content. Good tools were ripped out of artists’ hands and the internet is worse for it. Where’s the replacement?

It has been 10 years yet nobody has created a true replacement for Flash using SVG, Canvas, JS, etc. I wonder why?

I wonder if it's because, if one needs an expressive language, for vector graphics or whatever, then redundant things like XML and JSON are horribly non-concise choices, whereas Flash didn't suffer such problems, along with having excellent authoring tools.

Yeah have you tried authoring and animating SVG in 2008? Full of (browser support) holes and extremely poor performance, even on the "powerful" iPad in 2011. Flash by comparison would have been a breeze even on mobile.