“non-metal-shielded electronics“

So a bad actor would shield them? The primary countermeasure to incredibly small storage is minimizing the availability of devices that could write them on site. That microSD hidden in a nostril won't be of much use if the attacker does not find anything to plug it.

(regarding OP's story: I was kind of expecting it to end with the spaceballs password in heavy use behind all that physical security, still kind of disappointed/relieved)