Re:‘Show, Don’t Tell’ Almost Ruined Me as a Writer
by TeMPOraL on Wednesday October 09, 2019 @06:30AM
(#21201787)
I agree with 'watwut and strongly prefer the first version. One additional insight: the first version lets me actually imagine the feeling. "Not the waiting in line to get your picture taken kind of nervous, but the first day at a new school in a new city kind of nervous" is something I can relate to. Checking time and shuffling vases? That's not how I usually experience nervousness, and it also gives me less information about what kind of nervousness the protagonist is experiencing.
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Re:‘Show, Don’t Tell’ Almost Ruined Me as a Writer
by cryptonector on Wednesday October 09, 2019 @06:56PM
(#21209085)
Right, there's that as well. Because we experience nervousness differently, you might as well tell the reader that the character is nervous.
Again, I take "tell" to be about characters telling the reader important details by unnecessarily saying them in dialog to other characters.